Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Life as a Stay-At-Home-Mom

I've been a stay-at-home mom now for 17 months.  I left my job in October 2014 to go on permanent maternity leave.  I'm the only one who's home with Scarlett 5 days a week, she doesn't go to daycare or grandma's house.

If you're thinking of leaving your job to be with your kids full-time, or maybe you're about to have a baby and want this role, I wanted to give you an accurate portrayal of what this title brings.

Personally, I don't think being a stay-at-home mom is for everyone.  If you feel that you'd rather work and maintain your career, that's perfectly fine and understandable.  Not everyone wants to spend their days playing toys with their kids and changing diapers.  This doesn't make you selfish, it makes you human. 

I wanted to be at home with my daughter.  We couldn't afford the astronomical prices of daycare here, plus I didn't want a stranger raising my child.  At times I have thought about going back to work, but if I'm going to work just to pay for childcare it's pointless in my opinion.  I feel guilty relying on my husband's salary to provide for 3 people and I always wish I could contribute more.  Everyone says you're doing the hardest job possible of raising a child, but that doesn't bring in a physical paycheck.

I'm extremely fortunate to be able to spend my days with Scarlett.  It's very rewarding and exciting to watch her grow from a tiny baby to the active toddler that she now is.  Our days consist of playing with toys, reading books, and doing educational activities.  Of course we have play dates and other social activities that we attend weekly.  I try to teach her as much as I can and when she shows me that she understands and comprehends what she's learning, it's such a wonderful feeling.  I am solely responsible for everything she needs to learn in the first few years of life and that's a big job to take on.

On the flipside, I'm the only one with Scarlett all day.  Nobody else is there to help me change diapers, give a bath, give cups of milk, prepare meals, play with her, or even let me sit for 5 minutes to get a break.  Scarlett goes everywhere I go including in the bathroom with me when I shower.  I'm responsible for this little person and making sure all of her emotional, social, and physical needs are met.  It can be very exhausting sometimes.

What's hard is maintaining the housework in-between taking care of Scarlett.  I do laundry here and there during the day and I might vacuum, but that's really all I can do.  You constantly have to make sure your child is a close distance to you and not doing anything dangerous or concerning.  At night I do the dishes and any other cleaning jobs.  At the end of the day, I'm physically drained and just want to hang out with my husband and watch TV.  I never feel like my house is clean enough, no matter what I do.  

Nighttime is when I feel the most guilt about my day.  I ask myself questions like "Did I teach Scarlett enough today? "Is she on track for her age?" "Did we read enough?" "Is she happy?" It seems like I never stop worrying about her or her needs.  I have a lot of mom friends and I constantly run things by them to see if their child has done what Scarlett did before or if she's doing things similar to their children.  When you're a mom, you have to put your child first no matter what.  

Scarlett and I are very close and I truly am grateful for the wonderful opportunity I have. Some people would love to be at home with their children but they have to work. Eventually I do want to go back to work when she's a little bit older.  When I do enter the workforce again, I know I'll have wonderful memories and an experience that I wouldn't change for anything.  

1 comment :

  1. Sammi you just made a list that proves why this is the hardest job Anyone can do and with zero pay. I can tell by your facebook posts that you are an amazing mom. You are doing MORE than enough to teach that baby all she needs to know and then some. And someday when you do go back to work you can rest assured that you have given her the best possible start a child can have in life. Im sure Jay is proud of the job you are doing and very happy you are giving Scarlet the most fantastic beginning. And also that his mind can be at ease while at work knowing your with Scarlett. That's worth more than all the money in the world. I was a stay at home mom so I know exactly what you are saying. Another thing that proves its the hardest job in the world is that there are never enough hours in the day to do what you want to do. Cleaning the house, laundry, cooking etc is a never ending job in itself. With Scarlett and Lynnie your're fighting an uphill battle with that. And thats not what matters its that little girl, little dog, and husband. They are whats important. You are doing such a great job and I love reading about the things you guys do. Keep up the amazing work and know that you are doing the best job you possibly can!