Saturday, October 6, 2018

Letting Go of Control As a Parent

I've taught many things in my 3.5 years as a parent.  Scarlett has mastered knowing crucial toddler subjects like colors and shapes, as well as learning how to use utensils while eating.  My tiny tot has learned how to use the bathroom among many other toddler milestones.  

While I applaud every skill and milestone Scarlett reaches, I find myself sometimes wanting her to do things how I want them done.  I was thinking about this earlier today while talking to my husband. I've had this thought before and I know it's something I have to work on.  Scarlett is learning and growing everyday and while she is wildly independent in some areas, others I feel like I still want to step in for guidance.  

For example, getting dressed.  She struggles slightly with putting her shirt on while getting dressed in the morning.  In my defense, I feel that it's easier for me to just do it for her instead of sitting there watching her try to put it on backwards or put both arms in the same hole.  I am well aware that if I continue to do it for her she won't learn.  It's not that I don't want her to master this skill, it's more that I just want her shirt on without time being wasted.  She doesn't request my help, yet I step in. 

Just the other day Scarlett wanted to pour soup into a pot to heat up on the stove.  I said okay knowing that we may have a mess.  Of course some of the soup spilled onto the stove that was just freshly wiped down.  In my head I thought to myself well if I poured it in, there'd be no mess.  But then you have to look at in the sense of a child wanting to help to gain confidence and independence of doing things for themselves.  That is more important than taking 30 seconds to clean up a spill.

One thing that I struggle with as a parent is letting go of the control that I so desperately desire. There are many areas of my parenting that I feel confident with and know that I'm excelling in.  Everyone has areas of weaknesses in life, but the most important thing is that you recognize them.  I want to lessen my level of control to help my child be the best they can be.

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