Ask any parent in the world what they want for their children and almost every single person will tell you the same thing: happiness. But the road to ensuring a happy and well-rounded future for your kids often seems complicated. There are hundreds - if not thousands - of books on raising children, and a lot of the advice out there can be contrary to what you read somewhere else. The truth is that there are no guarantees that one method of bringing up children is any better than another.
There are, however, a few things you can do that are backed up by a lot or scientific research. So, if you are having concerns about the happiness of your children or are worried whether or not you are doing the right things, read on. We’re going to take a look at some of the facts surrounding the art of raising happy children - so let’s get started right away.
Don’t worry, be happy
Want happy children? Then be happy yourself - it’s that simple. A lot of parents have guilt complexes that stop them from indulging in themselves, but the research suggests that a little bit of selfishness on your part can have a positive impact on your little ones. For example, research suggests there is a link between mothers who suffer from depression and worry about adverse outcomes often have children who go on to have behavioral problems. So, consider that the next time you feel guilty about treating yourself every once in awhile, or even just going out for dinner with your partner.
Pick what you need, don’t follow the rules
There are no definite rules about parenting - every child is different, as is every parent. The answers to your problems are not in a single book or will come from a single source of inspiration. What works as parenting norms for some will be an entirely different experience for others, and it’s vital to make your own way in parenting life. Read as many books as you can, but adapt the ideas behind them to work for your situation. Pick and choose your advice and don’t try and enforce the rules laid out by any one source - you will end up having a better impact on your kids.
Work hard, not perfectly
There is no such thing as the perfect parent. Despite what you might see on TV, or read on blogs and magazines, the ‘supermom’ is a fiction and an impossible aspiration. In fact, if you demand perfection from yourself, there is every chance you will end up demanding it from your kids, too, which will ultimately lead to serious issues later on in their life. So, work hard at being a parent, but give yourself a break when it comes to perfection. And do the same for your kids, too - don’t celebrate natural ability and put hard work at the top of the priority list.
Life is about relationships
Ultimately, life for your kids will be defined by the relationships they are able to develop with others. Personal, professional, and social lives are all going to be better for kids if they know how to communicate, be compassionate, and kind. As a parent, it’s your job to teach your children about building relationships, and watching the way you act with others is the primary way they will learn.
Optimistic outlook
When you are a busy parent, it can be all too easy to develop pessimistic tendencies. But you should be careful about displaying these feelings to your kids - they will pick on them. Research shows that positive people are almost always happier than those who feel worried or unhappy about life. Optimism will help your kids do better at school, live a longer, healthier life, and be more robust against mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Self-discipline
Finally, be aware that kids who have higher levels of self-discipline often go on to have happier lives. If you can teach your children the art of delaying gratification, it can go a long way towards creating a better future for them. Again, self-discipline is something that you teach your children subconsciously - if you can’t wait to get stuck into the cream cakes you have just bought, the chances are that they will follow your lead.
OK, so there you have it - some scientifically backed ideas to help you raise happy kids. Need the great thing about each of these points is that you can adapt them to however you need, and you can do it your way. Good luck!
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