Saturday, August 13, 2016

Parental Worries Are Always There

Since starting my journey into parenthood in December of 2014, I've been very lucky. Scarlett was born healthy and had no major complications.  When she was an infant, she did have torticollis.  This resulted in her running out of room while I was pregnant, and her head became tilted to one side and stiff.  We had to do physical therapy and stretching exercises to correct the problem.  She also needed a special helmet that would help round out the back of her head which was flat.

All of this is common with torticollis.  We knew that this wasn't a life-threatening condition or one that couldn't be corrected with medical help, so we were fortunate.  Obviously you still worry as a parent while you're going through a situation like this, because you never know the end result until you're there.

Flash forward to present day and we've had no accidents or medical problems.  Scarlett sat up, rolled over, walked, and did most of her babyhood milestones on target.  One thing she hasn't done yet is talk.  She does babble quite a bit.  I'm doing my best to not be too concerned, but as each month rolls by and there's no sign of speech progression I can't help but start to wonder.

You see children in public who are younger than yours talking up a storm.  You have family members with little ones who said their first word at a year.  How can this not leave you worried? I've talked to my doctor about Scarlett's lack of speech, and she's not concerned. This does help to ease my thoughts, but doctors don't know everything of course.  Family members and friends frequently ask me if she's talking yet.  My answer is always the same. On the positive side, Scarlett is extremely non-verbal and can do most things you ask her to do.  The fact that she understands everything allows me to breathe a sigh of relief. 

My friend's children are around the same age as Scarlett's.  They know their colors, some letters of the alphabet, and animal names.  It's very difficult when you don't know exactly the grasp of your child's knowledge because they aren't speaking.  You feel guilty and automatically blame yourself, it's only normal.  

Scarlett often gets very frustrated when asking for something in the toy box and I can't figure out what it is.  Whether she wants the book buried at the bottom of the box, or the doll that's out of her reach she can't tell me.  She eventually starts crying and gets angry because she can't verbalize her needs.  It's incredibly difficult and we go through situations like this several times a day.  I go through several toys which she rejects and then I feel terrible because I have no idea what she wants.  

It does bother me that she doesn't talk.  When she tries to tell me things that are beyond what I understand, such as pointing at the wall, it's difficult.  I often think life would be easier if she spoke.  I find myself reading parenting message boards online featuring parents who are in the same boat as myself.  You then start to think negatively and say why isn't my child talking? Is something wrong with her? Does she need to be evaluated by a speech therapist? It can be so easy to automatically think you're not doing everything you can as a parent.  As long you interact with your child and teach them, you're doing everything humanly possible.  Sometimes there's nothing else you can do but wait.  

A lot can happen in a child's life in a week's time, or even a month.  Scarlett is a different child today than she was 5 months ago.  She's grown leaps and bounds and has such a personality.  I know that in just a short period of time, she'll be talking.  My child will probably be talking non-stop that I'll wish I had those non-verbal days back! As a parent, you'll worry about your children for the rest of their lives. That's what parenting is all about, and it's perfectly normal.

1 comment :

  1. My nephew is 3 yrs and 3 months old and just started forming sentences. I don't think he said anything till age 2. He has seemed to catch up quickly though. We think he just didn't want to talk!